"I FUCKING LOVE MYSELF. I AM SO AMAZING."

    • 2 years ago

    "putang ina"

    • 2 years ago

    "FUCK THE WORLD I’M FREAKING OUT ALL BY MYSELF AND I CAN’T TELL ANYONE FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK"

    • 2 years ago

    "I don’t feel the worst right now. This wasn’t the worst thing that could happen.
    But this is the craziest, most unexpected, extremely outlandish part of this story.
    I thought the story had reached climax, but looks like there was Volume 2.
    My (love) life is really crazy, and it’s not really a love life even. I’m not putting “yet.”"

    — And I can’t even tell anyone. Screw…

    • 2 years ago
    • 1

    Crater

    I feel so scarred for life.

    Yes… Literally scarred.

    I don’t feel like sharing what stupidity I’ve just done to myself, but there are now two scars on the right side of my right leg. At least it’s not that seen.

    But I feel so scarred since it’s all my fault.

    Okay, it’s just a scar on my leg. No biggie. But I’m still disturbed. Really disturbed.

    I look like I’ve been bitten by a rat…

    You see, I accidentally cut two small pieces of skin off my leg with scissors. Don’t ask. I don’t feel like sharing why that happened yet. The skin nearer to the scissors’ handles was of course cut more compared to the one farther from it.

    And there was blood. I actually just felt like I cut something chunky. It didn’t even hurt (until I rinsed it with water). 

    Then… I did something even stupider.

    I thought that, oh no, there is going to be a scar, and the dark part was going to be the blood.

    So I blocked the flow of blood of the bigger wound with a cotton bud and taped it there, while I had no time left to cover the smaller wound. So here I was with two kinds of wounds.

    Research tells me that I should have let the wounds heal naturally…

    Come to think of it, the bigger wound is deeper. Since I blocked the blood flow… It’s going to become a crater scar.

    I caused a crater scar on my leg. It’s barely seen, but still…

    I knew that I was just asking for this to happen when I took the risk of using scissors. That was really, really stupid. I just laughed at myself and then I realized just now that bothersome other feeling aside from laughing at myself — Sadness.

    I’m sad because I’ve technically damaged my own body, and all these things I’m reading about having to undergo some collagen injection or some kind of unnatural procedure for it to look perfectly normal is depressing me.

    I just hope that the skin would still work its magic. It’s okay to have a scar… If having a scar would return the skin to its normal shape or state, by all means make a dark scar!!! 

    Okay, it could’ve been worse. It could’ve been a very deep line scar. But no. It’s two scars… Two separate scars…

    …So full of regret… That was actually the last freaking stroke I was going to make…

    I am so annoyed with my accident…

    • 2 years ago
    • 1

    Specialization

    Specialization in School Organizations (Why Nobody Will Join The Choir-Club)

    By: @sanswristpetals

    Caution: This is a very strong polemic which can put the writer in trouble if certain authorities find this.

    Read more...

    • 2 years ago
    • 9

    The dilemma is whether or not to run for secretary in class.

    ?

    • 2 years ago

    "Know the rules so you can twist them without breaking them."

    • 2 years ago

    School

    In half an hour, it’s technically the day before school. (Now that that half an hour passed… It’s technically the day before school.)

    I’ve been readying myself for college applications for the past months. I’m not really thinking of senior year.

    It’s just so unfortunate for me to be so bothered by a certain person when I’m supposed to at least try to be excited for senior year. Listening to “So Close” is making it even more depressing. I didn’t even seriously slow dance when that song was played during prom.

    Negative vibes… This feeling sucks.

    Anyway, I need to pass DLSUCET at all costs. I need to study harder.

    I’m going to regret very soon how I haven’t studied for the college entrance tests that seriously… 

    I don’t want to see you in school. I don’t want to talk to you.

    It’s usually the overthinking that makes me loathe someone so much but… I haven’t loathed someone this much for a long time and I just can’t believe you’re not at least reciprocating my anger. What if there comes a time when I need to explain myself and I end up being the one at fault or at a loss as to what to say.

    …That’s it. I’m watching Tangled right before I sleep for school.

    I don’t know how I’m going to schedule studying for the entrance exams. I don’t know how I’m going to insert that in my time.

    I don’t know how much I’m going to ignore that thing. 

    I don’t know how I’m going to explain myself.

    I’m not as prepared as I thought I’d be. Everyone’s fixing their school supplies already, but I don’t think I’ll be seriously fixing them until after Friday or something.

    Whatever.

    • 2 years ago

    "Sometimes, people are meant to fall in love but [are] not meant for each other."

    • 2 years ago

    "After taking a bath, I was drying myself up. I changed the Now Playing in iTunes to “Can I Have This Dance.” I started slow dancing by myself."

    • 2 years ago

    Caught

    I haven’t been caught for almost a decade. But I keep on forgetting that keeping that record doesn’t mean the record is going to go on forever. (Don’t read if you know me personally.)

    I can make you an essay on why I shouldn’t be doing this. I can get a high grade in that essay. I can come up with a thousand reasons on why I shouldn’t be doing this based on my knowledge and education, even more reasons than what I can come up with on why I am doing this.

    No, I haven’t told people. I don’t even know why I’m posting about it here. Maybe it’s because of another emotional fountain I’m feeling.

    I was nearly caught… No. Not “nearly caught.” Actually, I was semi-caught. Caught partially? Not caught for it 100% but I was almost caught and at the same time, it was there.

    I’m a liar. I lie to cover up the things that I accidentally show. I can actually make a criminal if not for my tendency to do good or reluctance from breaking the rules. 

    There is that part of me. People don’t really know me, and I hope that people seriously won’t know me that way… ever.

    This is something I will always cover up. Yes, I have been quite caught before. Guess what. I totally covered it up. I was a child. It was okay for me to be strange. With this mind of mine, I fabricated a complete story. It worked. It worked so much that I hope they won’t remember this ever again.

    I must be lucky. I could have been caught in much worse situations. I could have been really caught. But this is still t the same time a stroke of misfortune if I got caught.

    When I get out, I’m going to be normal as usual. I have all my lies backed-up already. I think I’m going to sound like ll my excuses are ready.

    This is the one big dark spot keeping me from being flawless in a sense that the general public would prefer. I would be judged, my image would change completely.

    Only something like a stupid blog post like this would give it away.

    • 2 years ago

    BITCHES. I AM FOREVER ALONE.

    • 2 years ago

    I HOPE YOU STAY A VIRGIN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE.

    • 2 years ago
    • 2

    Boomerang

    It was something that I held on to for a long time until it hurt me so much that I had to throw it away. Little did I know that, in the way I tossed it away from me, it would just boomerang back.

    Or it probably just isn’t my fault.

    It came back. Hi, I’m back.

    Shit.

    It’s not good that I’m blogging again. This is really not good.

    Just because we spent time together… Just because I started thinking about you again a little…

    Damn my mind. It’s so out of control. You know, I’ve gone back to the stage of losing appetite. I was eating breakfast when it was the morning of that day that we hung out. I ate two and it felt weird eating, like my stomach wouldn’t accept it. That is what happens when I lose my appetite just because of some emotions. Some stupid emotions.

    I also forgot to eat lunch today… I ate it at 3pm. And I can’t believe our dinner, two hours later, was halo-halo (5pm is too early, it was weird for my family).

    I suffered heartache again. I got affected. I just saw something, found out something, then poof, it hurt. I was affected. A little bit teary-eyed.

    Mood swings.

    It’s back. I’m back. It’s bad.

    A very small part of me wanted this back. But it’s not like I can control what’s happening. That’s the scary part.

    I can’t control how I feel. Okay, maybe I can. But not completely. I can’t even control my reactions. Is it my fault if I can get teary-eyed over trivial things?

    You don’t deserve this… I don’t deserve this… But this experience is probably just for training me.

    I’m just going to get hurt over and over again. I’m going to gain hope. I ‘m going to fantasize involuntarily even if I’d like to avoid that the most.

    Expectation is the root of all heartache. - William Shakespeare

    Why? Why?

    I’m not really asking. I don’t know why it’s “why” that’s coming out. Why what? Why did this happen? Why did it have to come back? Why did it start in the first place?

    This better not distract me from my college entrance exam review.

    I’m thinking about you again. I was so successful last month and two months ago. I completely forgot about you once. For once, I didn’t think of you all the time. If it happens again that you make me waste so much of my time… This is going to be so terrible.

    I can’t even tell you to pause for a while so I can concentrate on myself and the things more important to me.

    I have one year of high school left, and it’s the first time I made the statement like that. It’s just going to be fate that college will come and the people we met in high school will either keep in touch, simply stay, or vanish gradually.

    I haven’t cared this much for a long time… I can’t tell if I want it or not, but I can tell that it’s not good for me. This boomerang is going to be indestructible for some time. Until I become strong enough? Until I’m distracted enough?

    • 2 years ago