Weird

My blogging mind took a break from the serious emotional outbursts.

My heart (no, goodness, it’s never and it should never get this serious Ineedtouseanotherword) My brain took a vacation, too, probably.

This weird feeling is just toward the wrongest person I mean this is just so wrong that I’m going to consider this a thought release post but not really anymore (I haven’t done that in the longest time… If anyone actually read this they wouldn’t get it). this is like, so wrong. This is worse than my year-long “sufferings” ‘cause I might end up making unwanted reactions even if I got used to my year-long “sufferings.” Goodness, wasn’t a year enough training?!

Probably not when you start over again with another object of—

Craziness, foolishness, idiocy, LIES.

This is so not happening. I mean it. If body language gives a single freaking clue of this weird event within me I am so going to… goodness gracious.

I can’t even point out a reason. It can’t just be because of that factor that magnetizes my eyes. That’s just stupid… But that was also my fault since I admitted to that… attractive factor.

But that’s just really stupid.

I can’t believe that right now, I’m trying to reminisce and go back to the year-long “person who caused suffering” just to get rid of this momentary stupid thing.

I mean, this is just stupid. This is unspeakable. This is madness.

This is just the wrong person.

And to think I got affected when I saw this person with a girl. Yes. I got affected. Not too deeply. But I got surprised. I mean, we have a bond (oh no blowing the cover). I guess that makes sense. I guess it makes a little sense for me to be shocked. But, no. I saw someone else in that way, too, and no, it didn’t affect me.

I feel cursed.

Okay, this is my mind’s fault. I think my mind was fantasizing to make me feel better. I think my mind needs to stop fantasizing.

I fantasize with fictional characters — that’s perfectly fine. I’m so happy that, you know, I don’t get affected with these things, like “Oh, why must you not exist?!” I don’t get depressed.

I’m not depressed now. I just have this need to push away something that is very bad. Nobody wants this. I really don’t want it anymore seeing the circumstances I’m under. This is between my and meself. Haha, funny. Ha-ha-ha, f-u-n-n-y.

If I actually confide to a friend about this… It depends on the friend. I think I know to whom exactly I shall confide. 

Some people say this is normal, but this needs to stop because this is just wrong and it may cause unwanted happenings.

Dear Heart, I don’t understand you, why?! One complicated situation was enough, and now, are you trying to humor me with presenting another weird—

This is really bad.

It’s so bad that I’m not looking into the good side and, well, it actually gave me the opportunity to express such a humorous situation…

Except with my way of typing it, it still seems like a serious post.